Travel themes

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It’s been a bit of a journey through the elements, too: fire – wind – water – air – earth – spirit – humanity – animals… which meant it was pretty good to start with the Hawai’ian shamanism event in Hawai’i

So, Hawai’i was all about a connection to fire (lava) and a moment of leaving behind the old, as I walked through the lava tube I felt a sense of letting go.  Being right next to the lava was a very transformative and energizing experience.

Maui was all about water – snorkelling, jumping into rock pools, swimming in the sea, standing under waterfalls – allowing all of this to be a cleansing.  And the turtles – just to swim beside these incredible and, it seemed, wise creatures was a joy and an experience I will never ever forget.

Oregon was a connection back to love at Neale Donald Walsch’s event… just to be with those folk was really great, although I have started to question some of the parts of Neale’s material – which is all just part of me finding my own path rather than someone else’s. I am working through Neale’s mentorship programme at the moment.

San Francisco brought me up against people.. all sorts of people… and became a chance to take stock of what was happening in my life, as things seemed to shift dramatically as I learned and grew through the experience.

The Pacific Trek trip brought me back up against water again, diving into beautiful creeks, receiving more cleansing and letting more of my old ‘being’ slough off… but also a connection to nature through the age of the redwoods, the newness of Lassen Volcanic park, and the determination of life to grow whereever – to grip on to the environment it found itself in.  I also found myself with people again – 23 people living and sleeping on a converted bus.

And as I expected, the Canyons tour brought me back again to the earth – the hugeness of rock and power and solidity.  That seems to be my heart – again, people have commented on the peace and certainty that I bring to them – combining that with the energy of fire.

But also, the world of spirit stepped in – so many angel references from the climb to Angel’s Landing to the walk down Bright Angel trail to Bright Angel Creek… accompanied by a beautiful woman called (you guessed it) Angela.  So, i am now looking for reconnection to angelic guides and seeing how that turns up for me.

I’ve lost a few things on the way – which probably speaks to the bigger picture of getting things and losing them because I don’t take care of where they are, or recognise the connection.

As I sat contemplating the Martin Luther King memorial at Yuerba Buena Park in San Francisco, I realised that my heart went out to allow people to step into true freedom- that i would never be happy until people had been set free from the limits they place on themselves.

As i climbed Angel’s Landing, I heard God whisper to me that all would be in place by the end of the year – that i would not only know and understand my purpose and gift – and that i will have begun a new and deep relationship.  I look forward to seeing how that plays out….

I had an amazing experience on the canyon celing at San Juan river – a real connection and understanding of what I am about, of what my gift and purpose is: my ability to encourage, to give energy and to allow people to step into their power.

And as I rode across Monument Valley on horseback, God gently spoke to me reminding me of my longing to build the Leadership Adventure Centre – reassuring me that if I build it, they will come… and that it will be a place of miracles.  And the only reason it will exist is because God built it, financed it, created it.

To my shame, I have not always been myself – drinking more than I should, shrinking down to fit in, sharing in the gossip more than I should have – but yet I believe that my light has shone out in all of that.. so it’s just a readjustment of how I do that – how I am part of the group and yet raising the energy of the group.  One glorious moment was when I began a motivational speaking spoof – and realised that it’s a real gift to just speak without content or goal and just let it flow.

So, it’s been a fabulous few weeks.  Another few more and i will be home.  I have learned shedloads as I travel… and yet I feel there is more to come.

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Thoughts from horseback

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From my journal after sitting at the top of the San Juan Gooseneck Canyon, after watching the lightning light up the sky, and seeing the moon hang low and full…

Mine is a ministry of power – not blessing, or love, or peace, or freedom – but of a reconnection to power. That’s why rock and roll is so important to me – because it brings power and passion and fire, it creates movment!

I will be someone who helps people reconnect to courage and to power in people who have forgotten who they are. And I am not sure the right word is ‘power’ – it is perhaps more about ‘miracles’.

I am going to be moving into healing, creation, new energy – and I have thecredentials to do it. Anyone can rebuild a business after it has been stripped out by issues over ‘tax’ or ‘recession’ – but when someone knows it is their fault and their fault alone- well, when I overcome that I will have demonstrated a miracle. And I am about to whow the world how to do exatly that.

My gift is to connect people to their power – to give them courage. So these are going to be huge value indicators for me.

Only I can give away my power – and only by the action of giving it away – not because of ‘failure’ or ‘sin’. And we cannot be disempowered by words, or government, or anything else – only by owur own choice to be disempowered.

It’s time – time for me to start.

A trip on a horse

I really felt I should reconnect to my vision of creating a Leadership Adventure Centre (or similar) – That might be in the USA, and might have horses in it; God was saying that all the experiences I had had were desgined to equip me to create this – whether being confident on a horse, or being able to give of my gift.. Everything has been designed to bring me to this point.. God says ‘if you build it, they will come’ – and it will be a place created and built by God, not byme. The place will have no reality unless God builds it.

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Mission and purpose

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Read Time:1 Minute, 16 Second

From my journal after sitting at the top of the San Juan Gooseneck Canyon, after watching the lightning light up the sky, and seeing the moon hang low and full…

Mine is a ministry of power – not blessing, or love, or peace, or freedom – but of a reconnection to power.  That’s why rock and roll is so important to me – because it brings power and passion and fire, it creates movment!

I will be (I am) someone who helps people reconnect to courage and to power in people who have forgotten who they are.  And I am not sure the right word is ‘power’ – it is perhaps more about ‘miracles’.

I am going to be moving into healing, creation, new energy – and I have thecredentials to do it.  Anyone can rebuild a business after it has been stripped out by issues over ‘tax’ or ‘recession’ – but when someone knows it is their fault and their fault alone- well, when I overcome that I will have demonstrated a miracle.  And I am about to whow the world how to do exatly that.

My gift is to connect people to their power – to give them courage.  So these are going to be huge value indicators for me.

Only I can give away my power – and only by the action of giving it away – not because of ‘failure’ or ‘sin’.  And we cannot be disempowered by words, or government, or anything else – only by owur own choice to be disempowered.

It’s time – time for me to start.

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Looking after number one

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I actually found going to Great America theme park a bit of a guilty pleasure – I think I had been so focussed on finding meaning in my travels, and spending time trying to get my head together that the thought of some mindless fun was a bit beyond me.   So I made an agreement with myself that this trip was going to have lots of FUN in it from here on in.  Sure, there are things I want to do – and yet there’s a place for simply enjoying myself.

One of the real fun things was the chance to ride the coasters up front – I queued for a few minutes longer to get a front row seat on all the rides – but I did observe an interesting internal response to this – a reluctance to put myself first.  It was almost as if I didn’t belong up front.  Now, intellectually I know I can ride up front – but somewhere, deeper in my psyche, something was yelling ‘no, you need to hide at the back’.  I’m hoping I learnt a lesson – that it’s part of my divine right to be up front.  In fact, it’s part of my divine calling to be up front – visible – on stage – out in public…. And I hope I’ve finally got hold of that now!

Riding Grizzly up front

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Loneliness

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A friend of mine posted a quote to Facebook the other day that got me thinking.. she said

“Language… has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone.”~ Paul Tillich

Now, I thought that was a beautiful way of expressing it… by choosing the words we use, then we create a different meaning to the feeling.  We can choose to be lonely – or we can choose to enjoy solitude.  I am actually quite a solitary being – I love being around people, and I love interaction, sharing, laughter, joy…. and also I love time on my own in solitude.  And sometimes, sure, I feel lonely.  Sometimes I don’t feel as if I am choosing solitude – I just feel as if I have been dumped in this place called ‘loneliness’.

Look at what I said above – I contrasted ‘be lonely’ with ‘enjoy solitude’.  it feels to me as if ‘loneliness’ is something that happens to me, whereas ‘solitude’ is something I choose.  And, to be honest, we do have that choice.  On Facebook, one of the replies spoke about going to the supermarket so as not to feel lonely.  And why not?!  Why not use that feeling to catapult you into interaction with someone else?  Go to the supermarket.  Smile at people.  Chat with the cahier.  Resist the urge to pelt the supervisor with grapes.  Oh, go on, if you must….

One of the powers that we have as human beings is the power to name.  Adam was given the opportunity to have dominion over the animal kingdom by naming each animal – having the name gave him power.  Even to this day in many cultures, having someone’s name gives you spiritual and psychological power over that person.  Look at the story of Rumpelstiltskin – which is an echo of a deeper truth.  Once the king named Rumpelstiltskin, he had power over him.  It is the same with us and the words we use.

Consider the difference between ‘being depressed’ and ‘feeling melancholy’.  Broadly, they are the same feeling of sadness… but with depression, we are ‘stuck’ whereas with melancholy we are making a choice.  And isn’t it vageuly romantic to be a little ‘melancholic’ from time to time.

If you look at the language, it seems that ‘solitude’ is something we have control over.  We choose our solitude – we can move into it – or out of it – as we wish.  Loneliness, on the other hand, seems to be something that happens to us.

The truth of it is that these feelings never happen to us – we choose them… or, more accurately, we choose the response that we have to a certain situation.  When confronted with being on their own, some people will decide to feel lonely.  Others will decide to feel a sense of solitude, an opportunity to breathe in this life, to take stock of the situation.

Choose the words you use carefully – not because we have to fear using the wrong word (which seems to be a curse of the New Age and of the Law of Attraction “be careful what words you use, or they will come true”) – choose your words because they give you power over the situation that you are in.  Find a better way to describe it.  Take back control.  Use language to support you rather than slow you down… in fact, play with the language you use, have fun with it… and use it to step outside of the worlds we create

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Purpose and meaning

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It’s been a time of introspection over the last few days… I have been looking at what I am doing – what my purpose is – why I am on this trip… reflecting on the courses I have been on, the things that have been happening, and coming to some conclusions – I hope!

And so this is where I got myself to: this I who I am….

I am goodness and mercy and compassion and understanding.  I am peace and joy and light.  I am forgiveness and patience, strength and courage, a helper in time of need, a comforter in time of sorrow, a healer in time of injury, a teacher in times of confusion.

I am the deepest wisdom and the highest truth; the greatest peace and the grandest love. I am these things, and in moments of my life I have known myself as these things.  I choose now to know myself as these things always

I am in the room to heal the room.  I am in the space to heal the space.  There is no other reason for me to be here.

I am now going to trust who I am (because God made me this way), what I am capable, of, and trust my beliefs, my dreams, my purpose.

I am choosing to believe in God – a God who loves and cares for me, that I am a part of.  Even if I am wrong, it’s a better way to live. My God is not a vengeful father figure, but a support, a source of power, a source of truth.

Life is not about me but about what I can give to others

My purpose is to give encouragement – to provide leadership – to demonstrate power: to be a minister to people and to heal them.

I am living my life to the highest standards

  • Living as a rich man, with wealthy attitudes
  • Living as a godly man, with deeply spiritual behaviours
  • Living as a leader
  • Living as a man who gets the girl

I can live an incredible, productive, deep, romantic life and travel and have adventures

I am NOT in the IT geek space anymore – I am no longer a ‘technologist’

What makes me joyful is to teach and to lead – to grow through that leadership process.

I am refocussing my life around a deep and powerful personal leadership ministry – author, teacher, leader, adventurer, visionary

I follow my God, spending time in God’s presence every day

I am stepping into a new space of power and of authority.  I am going to make the second half of my life the best half.

God is restoring the years the locusts have eaten – and I am stepping into a new prosperity and a new success that eclipses the old.

The mighty is still the mighty – and now I am taking action.  I am through with putting myself down, with letting people say I am less than I am.  I am through with failure and mediocrity.  I am putting all that behind me, and moving on into a new empowering future.

Everything I want is coming to me now

– leadership and ministry – a place of influence and significance

– a beautiful soulmate and girlfriend

– wealth and financial freedom

– a life of power and magical creation

– purpose and meaning

The key for my life is to return to love…



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Conversations with God

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Can I be honest with you today?  Will you indulge me a little?  You’ve been good enough to come on this journey with me so far, and I wanted to tell you a little of some of the reasons why I’m doing what I’m doing.  Because maybe I’ve not given you the whole story so far….and in particular you may be asking the question… “Why Oregon?”

Well, this adventure plays to so many of my personal values: I took a look recently at what’s important to me and came up with this list:

  • Love & Compassion
  • Adventure
  • Freedom
  • Joy & Fun
  • Learning and Growth
  • Spirituality
  • Health & Vitality
  • Achievement & Success
  • Peace
  • Wealth and Prosperity
  • Courage
  • Truth and Integrity

So maybe some of those are obvious – how this supports my love of adventure, freedom, joy & fun, achievement, learning, growth, courage… but what about the rest?

For those of you who know me well, it makes so much sense that I would want to go off and do this – and yet there is something deeper going on.  You see, for me this is a real voyage of self discovery – an opportunity to really understand who I am, and why I am here.  The last couple of weeks have been very significant in preparing the ground for that, and I’ve shared a couple of those stories with you.

There are four big questions that we all need to answer.

  • Who am I?
  • Where am I?
  • Why am I where I am?
  • What am I going to do about where I am?

I’m beginning to see answers to those questions… and I promise I will share them at some point.  But I think that most of you know that I am deeply, deeply motivated by something else – call it love, call it compassion, call it God, call it what you will – but enough of you have been kind enough to notice that there is something ‘different’ about me.

So one of the reasons for me being over in the US was to do the Huna workshop.  The other was to attend a retreat with Neale Donald Walsch.  I’ve attended his retreats in the UK a couple of times – and I know that some of you reading this are friends I’ve made on those retreats (you know who you are!)

I have a feeling, though, that this event will be very significant in my life, and will be another part in the major shift around who I am, and what my reason for being here is.  And I mean here on this planet, by the way – here living this life.

Neale is the author of the Conversations With God books – probably the books that have made the most sense to me about life, about God, about the world we live in.  You could do a lot worse than read ‘Conversations with God’ or ‘Happier than God’.  Borrow it out of the library.  Go into Waterstones and read it there.  Or not, it’s entirely up to you.  For many people, including some very influential world leaders, it has been very important.  It may well resonate with you too.

I have not seen many people deal with a room of people with such compassion and such insight – with such understanding of what’s going on for them.

Yet today I have been particularly moved – firstly by em claire’s reading of her poem ‘Shine’ which I have published before

Shine

God says for me to tell You This:

nothing needs fixing;

everything desires

a

Celebration.

You were made to bend

so that you could find

all of the many miracles at your feet.

You were made to stretch

so that you would discover,

your own beautiful face of Heaven

just above

all that you think you must shoulder.

When I appeal to God to speak to me,

I’m feeling just as small and alone as you might feel.

But this is when, for no particular reason at all,

I begin to

shine

For various reasons, that poem meant more to me today than ever before – as I said to em on the way out – “I came here to hear you read that poem.  I can go home now”.

But the reason we are all here is simply to become the next grandest version of the greatest vision of who we are.  We are, each of us, an individuation of Divinity, an expression of God – an opportunity for God’s nature to be expressed on earth.  And the time that we will feel that the most clearly is when we are giving to others.  So life is not about how much money we make, or how influential we are, or even how much fun we have – although all those things are important – life is about how much we give.

And so I find myself challenged – how much can I give to others while I am travelling… and how much can I bring back to allow me to be even more compassionate, even more caring, even more inspiring.

I have much to think about in order to answer the question “Why Am I Here?”

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Fire and water

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I’ve come to the end of my time in Hawai’i now, and I have had an incredible and transformational experience.

My time on the Big Island was one of encountering fire – when I walked through the lava tube I knew that I was entering a new phase of my life, and it just felt as if the fire energized that change, creating the warmth and the flexibility for God to do new things in my life.  I had amazing connections with the spirit and presence of wind, swirling and energizing, blowing away the old to make space for the new, and carrying my prayers right into the heart of God.  I had a true sense of the power of rock – its certainty, consistency and stability.

And if Big Island was about fire, Maui has been about water.  I have swum with honu, the sea turtle, and understood their wisdom and sense of peaceful calm certainty and knowledge that everything is OK.  I have leapt off 35′ ledges into the sea, and into deep water caverns… a sense of bravery and courage that will serve me in the future – a willingness to leap into the unknown.

Each one of these experiences I also experienced as a new cleansing and clearing, creating a new truth in me ready for my new work.

We walked to an amazing waterfall this evening – I walked out and stood underneath the driving water, allowing it to clear away everything, to wash me clean, to excoriate the old, revealing something new and living for me.

As I left the waterfall, I realised that my journal had been in my pocket.. I won’t be using that journal again! And I heard God chuckling as he drove the point home.  All of my previous weaknesses, my old fears, the places where I was ‘stuck’, the areas where I was struggling, my previous failings and my previous incomplete understanding had all been washed away.  And God gently reminded me that, really, there was nothing to wash away – it was only me that needed to know that I am perfect, just as I am…. Only me that needed to know that I am doing just fine… Only me that needed to know that I am perfectly equipped with all that I need for the future.

I sense that God doesn’t want to hang around with what is being achieved in my life through this trip, and he wanted to make sure that I knew that the old was cleared away early on – so now we can build something….

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Goddess of Fire

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As I walked across the lava on Mauna Kea mountain, climbing the cindercone from one of the mountain’s previous eruptions, I became aware of a different presence on the mountain… the presence of an ancient Goddess, Pele, the Goddess of fire and of volcanoes, the Goddess that had created the mountain… and I found myself understanding that in many ways we have become cold, lacking passion, fire, drive… I prayed for my God to fill me full of that fire, full of that passion – that I might bring love, and warmth, and joy to the world. I felt myself reborn, renewed.. on fire.

And as I watched the sun set over the mountain at Mauna Kea, I knew that God is doing a new thing in this world.. Restoring passion, fire, energy, warmth, to this world. I sensed that there is a new movement coming – taking us beyond the gentle love of the New Age movement, and back to the fiery passion of revival. The sun is setting on the old: God’s pace is picking up and something new is being called into being.

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Beginning a world tour

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It feels as if I have been led to this point, you know – the last few years at Unilever fuelled a pension plan that would enable me to live – frugally, but provided for, while my role at Really Lovely People came to an end at the right time for me to consider this as an option.  My friends seemed to be encouraging me to do something different, and I felt in envy of some of the things they had done.

So what was it going to be about?  Well, partly, a huge pattern interrupt to get me out of my current way of thinking and into something entirely new.  Partly,  moving away from situations that weren’t really serving me very well – things that had become ‘stuck’.  Partly, a chance to see the world, to experience new cultures.  Partly, a desire to experience some of the magical places in the world – to see things I had never seen, to find those places where God stepped into the world.

I’m on this adventure for a reason – not as a holiday (although it will be) – not for the experience (although it will be an amazing experience) but rather to be changed and to be transformed.

So, bring on the adventure, and we’ll see what happens.  I’m ready for God to do anything…..

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