MY STORY – early memories

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Thinking back, my spiritual journey began at a very early age… but it would only be much later in my life that I realised how significant some of those moments were. My parents weren’t particularly spiritual, and apart from a couple of weeks at Sunday School (I hated it!) I used to get dragged along to church once a year on Remembrance Sunday. My uncle had been killed in the war so my father used to take us along in memory of him. It was cold, it was uncomfortable, and it was boring.

The earliest event I can recall that had some sense of the magical to it was when I was left in my pram outside the local post office. Now they had a milk machine there (this was before the days of Coke vending, guys) and I just started to press the buttons. Incredibly, milk cartons started landing in my pram.

It wasn’t until much later in my life that I realised the link with how interconnected I was with machines – a kind of modern day shaman, if you like – someone who has such a tight affinity with technology and machinery that it responds almost magically to me.

Another event I didn’t understand the significance of was at junior school. Every year at the Christmas party, we would have a fancy dress parade. I chose to go as Mercury, the messenger of the Gods, with my winged hat, my winged boots, and a toga. Probably best that you don’t try to imagine it. Now, local kids being who they are, they simply didn’t ‘get’ it and laughed me out of the parade. It took me a long, long time to lose the story of being laughed at because I’d tried to be different, because I had tried to stand out.. because I had tried to be true to my identity. I suspect that somewhere in my being I decided never to stand out in the same way again – never to risk being the subject of people’s jokes, never to risk ridicule… and so, like so many of us, I began the journey towards shrinking down and settling for second best.. of not letting my true awesomeness out.

But somewhere in my heart I knew who I was. I knew the job I had to do. I knew, deep down inside, that part of my role on this planet was to be a bridge, to be someone who would look to stand in the gap and help to bring God’s presence into people’s lives – someone who would, eventually, seek to be a man who wanted to bring one simple message… “Remember Who You truly Are”.

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THOUGHTS – Independence Day

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Today, I was supposed to be running a relationship event for people who wanted to look at taking back their personal power in their relationships.. Which, sadly, got cancelled. But it has given me chance to think about independence…and that may have been the real cosmic reason for organising the event in the first place.

On 1st July this year I started to look at some of the things that I wanted to achieve in the second half of the year, and what actions I would need to take towards them. And yet it seemed like more than that for me – it seemed like a new beginning – a chance to let go of what had been in order to step into something new.

I took some decisions – to decide to move into my own personal power – to reveal more of ‘who I am’ so that others will have the power to step into more of who they are. So that others can live the dream – so that others can marvel at the wonder of Who They Truly Are.

I sensed that I needed to start to make every moment count – to let every moment reflect my reason for being alive.

The United States of America chose to DECLARE their independence – in the face of history, in the face of world opposition, in the face of everything that HAD been, they chose to make a new future – to create a new beginning.

And in the end, this morning I realised that this was a day to declare my independence . . .

Freedom from fear
Freedom from the need to be right
Freedom to love others
Freedom from financial insecurity
Freedom to believe
Freedom to build my own truth
Freedom to live where I want
Freedom to choose to be in love
Freedom to be myself
Freedom to be happy and joyful
Freedom to follow God wherever God takes me
Freedom to let life unfurl me across the Universe
Freedom to lead people
Freedom to live an exciting life
Freedom from my own expectations
Freedom from the expectation of others
Freedom to allow God to reveal truth to me
Freedom to pick myself up and start again
Freedom to think for myself
Freedom to hold any dream I want
Freedom to do something – or not to do it
Freedom from the need to fit in

We do get to choose, you know. Not to decide is to decide – the very act of not deciding is, in itself, a decision. We are where we are because we have chosen to be there – in our hands lies the power to change what’s true for us.

So what will you declare today? What will YOUR statement of independence be? Where will YOU choose the freedom and liberation that is yours by right as a child of God? Where will you choose to step into possibility – and write your own future?

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Here goes…..

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It’s a strange title for a blog, isn’t it? AManOfGod? Perhaps not quite humble enough, perhaps just a little bit arrogant? Maybe a little bit ‘in your face’? Well, I didn’t expect to write this blog.. but I did feel as if I was called to write it. I did feel as if God was asking me to write it, even if no-one ever read it. In fact, my friend and mentor Julie put the idea into my head… and the more I thought about it, the more it felt like the right thing to do… even if no-one else ever read it.

As if there was something inside me burning and longing to get out, to get itself down into words. Some people might think it’s my ego wanting me to do this – an exercise in self publicity and vanity. And yet I know it’s not that, but a longing to tell what this journey has been like so far… the highs, the lows, the fears, the elation, the insights, the dreams. I want to be able to explain what God means to me – how that encounter with the Divine has changed my life. I want to tell the story about my own personal journey, which has very little to do with organised religion, with Christianity, or Buddhism, or New Age, although there’s all of that and more in there.

I want to explore what it’s like to know that I have a connection to the Creator… how that affects who I am, how that changes how I look at life, how I love people, how I choose to live. And I want to introduce people to the God that I know… which will let you become acquainted with the God that you know.

So, what will this blog be? Honestly, I have no idea. Partly it’s my record of my spiritual journey, spanning over 35 years. Partly it’s my up to date experiences of what’s happening right now. Partly it’s a chance for me to demonstrate how an ordinary man can be a spiritual being while still retaining his masculinity, while still living in the real world. How I can bring God into everything that I do, whatever I find myself doing – working, dancing, raising a family, being with friends…

But let’s see, shall we… I’ll start, and we’ll see what happens on this journey.

I want this blog to explore the nature of my relationship with Divinity, with God, with Love, with Source, with the Universal power – however you want to term that Higher Power. I want to explore the way that God shows up in my life… not to tell you ‘this is how it is’ but simply ‘this is how I experience it’. I want to explore my history of knowing God since I was in my early teens, through growing up, through marriage, through divorce, through starting again. I want to explore how that relationship has changed – how I walked away from God and then walked straight back in to God’s arms again.

I want to do this without dogma. I don’t want you to accept anything I say. But I do want you to think. Test it.  Try it.  Consider it. If it works, if it resonates, if something seems to echo in your heart, in your soul, then that’s great. And if it doesn’t… well, that’s great too. God is always speaking… maybe today he will will use the words of this blog – and maybe tomorrow she will use the words of a song, or a beautiful sight, or the insights of a friend. All I ask is that you stay open… and consider that maybe, just maybe, God is ready to speak.

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