Thoughts | Thoughts on the Way

Mocking God?

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One of the topics that has fascinated me over recent months has been the idea of a Flat Earth. Now, just to be clear, I do not in any sense believe the Earth is actually flat. As far as I can see all the Flat Earth believers rely on is personal incredulity (what do you mean, we’re flying through space at thousands of miles an hour?) and simplistic observation (it looks flat so it must be flat). But their motivation and determination to believe despite all the evidence fascinates me, and will be the subject of a future post, I’m sure.

I got into a bit of an on line conversation with a flerfer¹ who accused us of mocking God and his creation, which apparently according to the Bible is a circle (or possibly a square) 40,000km across underneath a dome on which a light show of sun and moon, stars and planets plays. Which made me think . . which is more of a mockery of a creator: this limited flat son et lumière show, or the observable Universe. So my reply to him was essentially this:

“Mocking? The Creator Source I could believe in can create an infinite Universe full of a myriad stars and planets, galaxies and black holes, mysteries and wonders for us to discover, ponder and marvel at. All held together by a simple and elegant force that creates and sustains this amazing cosmic dance. I can look at the night sky and be awestruck by its beauty. I can look at pictures from space and be stunned by beauty and the sheer enormity of what I see. And you dare mock that creativity and power by confining the Creator to someone who created a mere stage and light show? Which one of us is really mocking God?”

This Universe in which we live is a glorious, incredible infinite world full of mysteries and wonders, marvels and surprises. And we live “far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy”² seemingly a billion miles away from all the interesting stuff. It’s incredible, unbelievable, and yes, I get why it might challenge someone’s personal incredulity, their sense of scale, their ability to grasp the sheer vastness of space.

Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it’s a long walk down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to space. (Douglas Adams²)

For me, I’m not sure about God. Or a Creator. It may surprise you to know that after 63 years on this planet, I am more uncertain than I used to be about something so basic, so foundational. And I am certain that it’s not some long bearded white dude in the sky. But I know this. If there is a Creator of all this, then I’m voting for the one who can create a star studded magical infinite Universe full of secrets and surprises, wonders and marvels. Face Infinity. And let your whole being thrill to what’s out there.

Find out more at www.timhodgson.org

1: flerfer (noun) a semi derogatory term for a flat earther
2: Douglas Adams in ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’

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Snow Thoughts

Snow dreaming . .

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Today it snowed. A few soft flakes started to drift to the ground in the late morning, and I expected to see a light dusting that disappeared almost as soon as it had settled. But the snow continued to fall, lazy clumps of snowflakes, spiralling and drifting gently to the ground. And so I walked. No matter that I had already been for a walk that morning – I have so missed the snow. Down to the town, seeing the old buildings transformed while the town centre was covid-quiet. I walked on and down to the local park and around the lake, my thoughts disturbed only by the occasional walker and the park ranger on his tractor. The snow covered a multitude of sins – what had been a muddy, squelchy walk only days before was now pristine, matt white spread deep on the ground while the trees bent under the weight of snow that clung thickly to the branches. And I walked on, lost in thought and reverie, as I allowed the snow to heal my heart.

I met a friend in another park, and we talked skiing and snowboarding while her two black Labradors jumped and played, leaping for snowballs, and her son made snowmen and fished sheets of ice out of the floodwater.

I am a snow hound, I know that – happier on a mountain in snowboard boots and a beanie than on a beach that slows me down with its intimidating and oppressive heat. I miss the cold, the icy clutches of snowdrift and frost. I miss the crunch of snow underneath my boots as I walk. I miss the frosted sparkle of ice particles in the pale wintry sun. I have missed the annual trips to ski run and back bowl, board tracing lazy arcs across the hillside as the cold wakes me up and brings fresh clarity.

And in the late evening, I walked again, the snow still blanketing the quiet streets, covering cars that lay unused in lockdown inactivity, sat softly on fences and hedges, disguising the outlines of post boxes and street signs, softening the harshness of hard edges and sharp angles. Ice white street lights bringing sharp definition to the thick canvas stretching out in front of me while clouds drifted gently across the sky to reveal a scattering of stars, and a haloed ice moon.

It felt as if I could walk for ever – to carry on as my feet bit into the snow, crunching with every footfall, to walk ’til sunrise found me. I didn’t want to waste a moment – snow is so ephemeral in this country, arriving one day to be washed away in drizzly grey rain or winter sunshine the next. And memories washed back – of years before walking by the river trying to solve the seemingly intractable mess I had got myself into. I’ve made my share of bad decisions in the past, discarding something good for the sake of a dream of freedom. I have foolishly thrown away opportunities, through moments of confusion, or unworthiness, or madness. There have been times when faith and hope have seemed so far far away when in truth they have been my constant partners. Walking has always helped me through to clarity, the cold and the snow acting to further focus me. It would have been a shame to waste these frost-bound moments of clear headed thinking.

And the next day I was up before the sun had even begun to think about putting in an appearance, lacing on boots, pulling on hat, scarf and gloves, taking every opportunity to enjoy this brief moment before sun, rain and gritting salt washed it away, before it stopped being beautiful, dramatic, pristine white and faded into slushy melancholy grey. I walked by the river, enthralled by the unique soft crunch under my boots, watching rosy sunlight wash through the trees and light the landscape in shades of pink. Sheep looked back at me, dotted around fields and sheltering under trees. The river, swollen with recent rains, cast a slight mist on the water and cascaded through lock gates opened to allow its flow. And all around, setting each tree and bush, each trail of footprints, each gatepost, fence and house in a jewelled frame that draped the outlines with a frosty white anonymity that forced me to look closer to identify each piece.
And again the calm tranquil quiet allowed me to reach a new level of peace with my own thoughts.

Snow here is fleeting, shortlived, occasional, lasting only a brief time before it is gone again. Our moments are like that too, dealing opportunities which must be taken up before they vanish, lost forever in time’s shadows. And mysterious Life itself is like that, to be enjoyed, and lived, and experienced deeply, and fully in each vibrant second of Now. These moments do not come again, and each one is precious.
Our days are not meant to be wasted, or saved, but spent lavishly and with exuberance, immersing ourselves in the excitement of what it means to be Alive.

And so, last night, walking in the icy night air, the streets silent and close around me, it seemed for me that I have been spinning my wheels for too long, lost in repeated uncertainty, pondering the imponderable, doomed to inaction as I second guess my own intentions. The morning sunrise brought illumination, a new determination, a decision to start to weave a new story, to begin again to declare something new with a confident and bold hand. So perhaps now is a good time to write again, to use these moments of icy clarity as a springboard to something new.

Find out more at www.timhodgson.org

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Adventures Thoughts

Crooked Trails

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A friend of mine sent me this quote many years back, and I have always loved it – and tried to live my life by it. Until recently, I had not realised it was part of a larger quote, which really sent fingers of excitement running up and down my spine when I read it. And I thought you might enjoy it too!

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. May your rivers flow without end, meandering through pastoral valleys tinkling with bells, past temples and castles and poets towers into a dark primeval forest where tigers belch and monkeys howl, through miasmal and mysterious swamps and down into a desert of red rock, blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and grottos of endless stone, and down again into a deep vast ancient unknown chasm where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled cliffs, where deer walk across the white sand beaches, where storms come and go as lightning clangs upon the high crags, where something strange and more beautiful and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams waits for you — beyond that next turning of the canyon walls.”

(Edward Abbey)

Now that’s a huge and fabulous dream….

Find out more at www.timhodgson.org

PS I’m helping a friend out with some renovation work at the moment, so much as I would like to post, it’s proving a bit tricky! Normal service (whatever that is) will be resumed as soon as possible!

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Thoughts

The opposite of life . . .

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Love Love Letter Thoughts

Finding the big happy

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I have a friend who’s really good at finding pithy phrases that make me think. A while back she said ‘well, I guess we’re all just looking to find the Big Happy’.

And that’s what we’re all looking for, I think – ‘Finding the Big Happy’. But what is it? How can we find it? Does it exist, or is it just an unattainable and impossible dream?

We all know, I think, that some of the simplest things make us happy. One of my very very best friends, who had been having a bit of a tough week, texted me last night to tell me she couldn’t possibly be anything other than happy while cuddling her granddaughter. We all know the joy of watching a beautiful and incredible sunset or sunrise. or climbing to the top of a hill and seeing an incredible view spread out below us. Sometimes we will be surprised by an unexpected gift, or the words of a song.

The lovely and wonderful Hannah Brencher (www.moreloveletters.com) spreads joy and happiness by the simple but radical act of writing love letters to strangers and leaving them to be discovered. A hero of mine, Randy Gage (www.randygage.com) suggests paying the toll for the person behind, and reminds us that the simple act of smiling at a checkout assistant.. or letting someone in in traffic.. might just be the beginning of a chain reaction creating more happiness in the world. The movie ‘Pay It Forward’ (2000) helped millions to see that it’s possible to make the world a better place simply by making sure that one good deed creates another.. creating a flow of happiness in the world. Can you imagine the tidal wave of happiness that would happen if we each did two good deeds every time someone did something kind for us? The exponential effect would be.. well, very possibly ‘the big happy’.

There’s two things I have discovered about happiness. The first is that we are happy to the extent that we are creating happiness around us. We are loved to the extent that we create love. What we give out truly comes back to us – it’s a law of the universe. “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you”, said Jesus (Luke 6:38). That applies to wealth, which has a habit of returning to you in the measure that you give it away.. as Randy Gage points out, you can’t out give the Universe. Love is the source of our power, and we manifest power in our lives to the extent that we are prepared to love.

Happiness is even more incredible – because it’s instantaneous! The simple act of choosing to create happiness for someone else will, I guarantee, make you happy. It’ll put a smile on your face, create warmth in your heart and put a bounce in your steps.

And the second thing about happiness? It’s a choice. We can, honestly, choose to be happy in any moment. We’re actually programmed to seek happiness, you know – to seek out the things that make us happy at the deepest possible level. And that’s perfectly OK. It’s why we’re here. The problem is that we’ve got it all backwards. We think that we have to HAVE certain things (money, love, freedom) in order to DO things (take holidays, buy a car, enjoy romance) so that we can BE happy, or content, or secure. And we’ve got it backwards.

The secret is to choose to BE happy. Right now. If we choose to BE happy (or peaceful, or content, or joyful, or secure) – then the Universe responds by creating things to DO that flow out of that happiness (joy, peace, security, contentment) that create what we wanted to HAVE. But we have to let go of attachment to those things first. As long as we are expecting money or possessions or a romance or (fill in the blank) to make us happy, then we’re not going to get there. As soon as we drop that demand and simply allow ourselves to be happy for no reason. then happiness arrives.

Try it out. you’ll be amazed. Simply choosing to be happy. Or peaceful. Or whatever feeling you want. Here’s a secret.. create it the way you want it. Smile. Laugh (another of my friends teaches laughter yoga and points out that it’s impossible to stay miserable if you choose to fake laughter.. even if it feels fake, it soon becomes real). Put on some happy music that you love. Dance. Make someone else happy. Hug a tree. Cuddle a baby. Spread a little joy and happiness and see how it feels..

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Observations Thoughts

Travel themes

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It’s been a bit of a journey through the elements, too: fire – wind – water – air – earth – spirit – humanity – animals… which meant it was pretty good to start with the Hawai’ian shamanism event in Hawai’i

So, Hawai’i was all about a connection to fire (lava) and a moment of leaving behind the old, as I walked through the lava tube I felt a sense of letting go. Being right next to the lava was a very transformative and energizing experience.

Maui was all about water – snorkelling, jumping into rock pools, swimming in the sea, standing under waterfalls – allowing all of this to be a cleansing. And the turtles – just to swim beside these incredible and, it seemed, wise creatures was a joy and an experience I will never ever forget.

Oregon was a connection back to love at Neale Donald Walsch’s event… just to be with those folk was really great, although I have started to question some of the parts of Neale’s material – which is all just part of me finding my own path rather than someone else’s. I am working through Neale’s mentorship programme at the moment.

San Francisco brought me up against people.. all sorts of people… and became a chance to take stock of what was happening in my life, as things seemed to shift dramatically as I learned and grew through the experience.

The Pacific Trek trip brought me back up against water again, diving into beautiful creeks, receiving more cleansing and letting more of my old ‘being’ slough off… but also a connection to nature through the age of the redwoods, the newness of Lassen Volcanic park, and the determination of life to grow whereever – to grip on to the environment it found itself in. I also found myself with people again – 23 people living and sleeping on a converted bus.

And as I expected, the Canyons tour brought me back again to the earth – the hugeness of rock and power and solidity. That seems to be my heart – again, people have commented on the peace and certainty that I bring to them – combining that with the energy of fire.

But also, the world of spirit stepped in – so many angel references from the climb to Angel’s Landing to the walk down Bright Angel trail to Bright Angel Creek… accompanied by a beautiful woman called (you guessed it) Angela. So, i am now looking for reconnection to angelic guides and seeing how that turns up for me.

I’ve lost a few things on the way – which probably speaks to the bigger picture of getting things and losing them because I don’t take care of where they are, or recognise the connection.

As I sat contemplating the Martin Luther King memorial at Yuerba Buena Park in San Francisco, I realised that my heart went out to allow people to step into true freedom- that i would never be happy until people had been set free from the limits they place on themselves.

As i climbed Angel’s Landing, I heard God whisper to me that all would be in place by the end of the year – that i would not only know and understand my purpose and gift – and that i will have begun a new and deep relationship. I look forward to seeing how that plays out….

I had an amazing experience on the canyon celing at San Juan river – a real connection and understanding of what I am about, of what my gift and purpose is: my ability to encourage, to give energy and to allow people to step into their power.

And as I rode across Monument Valley on horseback, God gently spoke to me reminding me of my longing to build the Leadership Adventure Centre – reassuring me that if I build it, they will come… and that it will be a place of miracles. And the only reason it will exist is because God built it, financed it, created it.

To my shame, I have not always been myself – drinking more than I should, shrinking down to fit in, sharing in the gossip more than I should have – but yet I believe that my light has shone out in all of that.. so it’s just a readjustment of how I do that – how I am part of the group and yet raising the energy of the group. One glorious moment was when I began a motivational speaking spoof – and realised that it’s a real gift to just speak without content or goal and just let it flow.

So, it’s been a fabulous few weeks. Another few more and i will be home. I have learned shedloads as I travel… and yet I feel there is more to come.

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Thoughts

THOUGHTS – Living from the heart

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One of my mentors and teachers, Julie, recently challenged me to change the way I was living. She believed that I was spending far too much time in my head, and not enough in my heart. What she meant was that my thinking was guiding all my decisions – which is OK, because at least it’s rational thought. But the higher place, considering who I want to be, is to live from my heart – to live from a place of love, a place where my soul guides me as to what works and what doesn’t.

Now, while the mind can make judgements about what it knows, it can’t make judgements about what it doesn’t. Yet our hearts act as a doorway between the physical world and the unseen world. And that means that our hearts have access to far more wisdom, far more knowledge, far more experience, far more truth than our heads will ever do.

So I am learning. Slowly. What Julie advised me to do was to simply let my awareness drift down from my head to my chest area – to sense what I was feeling, what was happening inside me. As I did, then first off I would get a feeling in my heart as to whether that was right or not – whether I was living at peace with myself, or I was living in conflict with myself. If I am on the right path, then I feel at peace with myself. I might feel nervous, sure. I might feel tense, or angry, or any one of a myriad emotions. But at my core, at a heart level, I will be at peace with myself.

Once I know that, then I have access to more information. I can ask my heart about anything, knowing that it will respond to my every thought, and will provide the answers in a way that I can hear them.

A brilliant brilliant book on this is Jack kornfield’s Path of the Heart. Jack is an American Buddhist teacher who really knows how to get in touch with heart level ‘beingness’. Another surprising teacher is Drunvalo Melchizedek, with his book “Living in the Heart”.

Am I good at listening to my heart…. Absolutely not. But my heart is, as Julie observes, starting to run a big chunk of the show. And as I meditate and pray, my heart starts to run even more of the show, starts to connect me to another realm. And I become calmer, more peaceful, more connected to those around me and more loving.

So, yet again, I am learning. Slowly… but I am getting there.

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Thoughts

THOUGHTS – Does it matter?

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You know, it actually doesn’t matter whether you believe any of this stuff. In fact, it doesn’t matter to me whether this stuff is real either. When I was doing my NLP training, my trainer said something that really made me stop and think. You see, we as humans seem obsessed with ‘truth’. We want to seek out the genuine ‘truth’ behind something. And maybe that’s important and maybe it isn’t – and here’s why.

I trained as a Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which means that we went pretty deep into how the conscious and unconscious minds work. In NLP, we learn a whole series of ‘Presuppositions’ – principles on which NLP is founded, the core precepts of you like that lay the foundations for everything else. Things like ‘the meaning of communication is the result you get’ and ‘there is no failure, only feedback’. (There are some truly lifechanging presuppositions that are the core of NLP, and if you want to know more, book on an NLP course – in fact, I’m considering running one myself, probably called “It’s NLP, but not as you know it”).

Anyway, what my trainer said was “I don’t know if this is true or not, but what I do know is the effects that believing it produce in my life”.

So, I have no real way of knowing if God exists or not. I have no real way of knowing if the things I do in pursuit of God are the best or not. But what I do is to look and see if I like the effects they are having. Does believing this make me more positive (yes). Does believing this make me more loving (yes). Does believing this give me more hope (yes). Do other people like the person that I am (yes).

So, in the end, if my beliefs, and my values, and my behaviours produce these sort of results in my life, it doesn’t really matter if it’s true or not, does it? And, sure, I believe that God is real. I believe that we are all ‘God’. I believe that there is no ‘death’. I believe that we can change the world around us. I believe so much – and in so much magic and wonder, power and freedom – and much of it we will explore in the coming weeks and months in this blog.

And yet, provided that what I believe is helping me be more loving, more able to help people, more able to help myself, making me more confident, more capable, more full of hope, and life, and joy, and freedom – then, in a sense, whether or not it is ‘true’ isn’t the important thing. Because I like the effects that it produces.

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Thoughts

THOUGHTS – Independence Day

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Today, I was supposed to be running a relationship event for people who wanted to look at taking back their personal power in their relationships.. Which, sadly, got cancelled. But it has given me chance to think about independence…and that may have been the real cosmic reason for organising the event in the first place.

On 1st July this year I started to look at some of the things that I wanted to achieve in the second half of the year, and what actions I would need to take towards them. And yet it seemed like more than that for me – it seemed like a new beginning – a chance to let go of what had been in order to step into something new.

I took some decisions – to decide to move into my own personal power – to reveal more of ‘who I am’ so that others will have the power to step into more of who they are. So that others can live the dream – so that others can marvel at the wonder of Who They Truly Are.

I sensed that I needed to start to make every moment count – to let every moment reflect my reason for being alive.

The United States of America chose to DECLARE their independence – in the face of history, in the face of world opposition, in the face of everything that HAD been, they chose to make a new future – to create a new beginning.

And in the end, this morning I realised that this was a day to declare my independence . . .

Freedom from fear
Freedom from the need to be right
Freedom to love others
Freedom from financial insecurity
Freedom to believe
Freedom to build my own truth
Freedom to live where I want
Freedom to choose to be in love
Freedom to be myself
Freedom to be happy and joyful
Freedom to follow God wherever God takes me
Freedom to let life unfurl me across the Universe
Freedom to lead people
Freedom to live an exciting life
Freedom from my own expectations
Freedom from the expectation of others
Freedom to allow God to reveal truth to me
Freedom to pick myself up and start again
Freedom to think for myself
Freedom to hold any dream I want
Freedom to do something – or not to do it
Freedom from the need to fit in

We do get to choose, you know. Not to decide is to decide – the very act of not deciding is, in itself, a decision. We are where we are because we have chosen to be there – in our hands lies the power to change what’s true for us.

So what will you declare today? What will YOUR statement of independence be? Where will YOU choose the freedom and liberation that is yours by right as a child of God? Where will you choose to step into possibility – and write your own future?

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