FROM MY JOURNAL – Restarting

I found that I had come to a real ‘stop’ in my life… not sure what to do about the financial issues, about my career, about my relationships… I decided to take a few days out to decide who I was, and what I was about.

This morning I took a walk and found my favourite place, in the grounds of the local public school.  I call it ‘The Place Angels Love to Dance’ – partly because I find it’s a place where I can hear God clearly, and because of the huge numbers of white feathers around.

This is what came through…

Firstly, I got clarity about bankruptcy… it remains a possibility, but the nature of Who I Am will not let me take that route – because it would be running away.  So if someone chooses to make me bankrupt, then that’s OK, but I will not choose it.

More importantly, life principle#1 My life is surrendered to God.  Life principle #2 My life is to be used in the service of others… to love and heal the world.  I spent some time rereading ‘A Return to Love’ and it was so, so clear what I was about.

I’m a ruler in charge of my life… now I feel nervous and fearful because this hugely powerful being inside me is stepping out from being ‘ordinary’ and that’s bound to shake the foundations a bit!  I want to demonstrate a state of Being in my life which is about Leadership and about Power – with Love.

And I know one thing… I am in pursuit of God.  But my purpose became profoundly clear.. I am about bringing the presence of God to people… allowing God to flow through me so that they can experience that.  Enabling power ot be restored to the children of God.

I know I will end up demonstrating that in public, on stage, giving to others – being in a position of leading others into what I am experiencing.

I realised that the key to power lies inside the heart – and that if we live from there then we connect to real power.

And then a thought came.. called ‘Shekina’.  That might be a place.. or it might be an event.. ‘Shekina’ means ‘the dwelling or settling presence of God’ and is exactly what I want to create.  I thought about building a retreat that was a place where people experience the holy, powerful, awesome nature of God, where they feel loved, and alive.  Not just about peace and tranquillity, but about noise and laughter, fun & joy, happiness, power, excitement, energy, passion.  I have no idea where that takes me – but it feels really exciting…. so watch this space….

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