This morning I woke, slowly…. and yet with longing burning in my heart. For some days I had been conscious of God calling me to a new place – and of a deep inner longing that wanted me to step into a new relationship with the awesome power of God.
Inside me there has been a hunger, a longing , almost howling, roaring, unstoppable desire for something to change. And it’s not in my personal circumstances.
Sure, I would love to move from my current financial situation to one of true abundance, prosperity and financial freedom. Sure, I would love to find someone to share my life with, discovering our destiny together. Sure, I would love a new car, a lovely house to live in, adventures, excitement, fun – all the things that are in my dream book.
And yet, continually threading through my mind is the longing for something to change, something to shift – and for me to step into true power, and the power of God. I feel a little like Jacob in the book of Genesis, when he wrestled all night with the angel of God: and finally the angel said ‘Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” ‘ (Gen 32:26)And the angel DID bless Jacob – and also touched Jacob’s hip, causing him to limp. And if there’s a price to be paid for God to touch my life, then so be it.
It all goes back to many years ago when I was ‘baptised in the Holy Spirit’ as a member of a charismatic baptist church, a church that believed in ‘the gifts of the Holy Spirit’. In the book of Acts, the disciples received the power and the gifts of the spirit of God – descending like tongues of fire.
It feels in some way like that’s what I have been called to do… to bring that experience back to others. To see the songs of God come into their inheritance. To move beyond the ‘nice’ world of New Spirituality into something that has power, that has dynamism, something that has ‘balls’, if you will pardon the expression. Not so that we can all sit around enjoying these experiences – but so that we can go out and DO something in the world. So that we can shake it up, bringing the power and the authority of the Creator into government, into social life – challenging our social inequality, the status quo, our lack of feeling…
And that’s what I am longing to experience right now. That’s what I want to see… to feel, to know deep in my gut – that God is with me to demonstrate the power of the gift of God.
And so I pray “reconnect me to the awesome gift and power of God. Touch me with God’s Spirit, and bring me to a new level of Her Divine creative energy”.